oddegg: (Booze aint food)
I've been catching up with my upcoming-movie trailers over at topless robot and films that I am now INSANELY excited now include:
  • Tron: The Legacy. No, of course it's not going to be as good as the original. Yes, I'm still going to watch it.
  • Green Lantern. Ryan Rynolds looks like he so much fun filming this. I just hope we have as much fun watching it.
  • Cowboys & Aliens - Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford! As cowboys!! Fighting aliens!!! Based on a comic book!!!! Counting down the weeks, people. Fuck, counting down the days.
Speaking of Harrison Ford, topless robot also has a link to him on the Conan show. Mr topless robot seems to think Harrison is drunk but I personally think this is a terrible malignment of the man.

He's obviously not drunk! Silly topless robot man!

He's stoned - that's quite a different kettle of hot-rocked fish.

(And if you get that reference to hot-rocks then I name you 'stoner' and tell you to stop bogarting, man)

(Also - never seen Conan before but jeebus god, is it just me or is that man is a dick?)

* * *

This weeks Fan Fiction Friday on TR is particularly wtf?-ish. Pokemon rape fic.

Yes, you read that correctly. It is at times like these - reading reviews of stories about pre-pubescent boys getting raped by stone, snake-bodied Pokemon - that I wish I had known about the slight reference to the Pokemon fandom that my lj name apparently contains. (Pokemon gets brought up when I google myself, anyway) (Yes, I google myself. Don't judge me)

It's not as bad as the Draco skull-fucking one though, and not NEARLY as disturbing as the 'Sherlock Holmes is constipated - let us write about this and about Watson giving him enemas for over 13,000 words!' fic.

You can't read that last one anymore, the author took it down. Thank your gods for this, people. The internet is better for it.

"Nut 'im!"

Jan. 12th, 2010 10:40 pm
oddegg: (Alice - local drug dealer)
Oh, Robert Downey Jr - is there nothing you can't do?

Because not only did you make me willing to watch Mr Madonna's version of 'This Ain't Your Muvver's Sherlock 'Olmes (an' it ain't Sir Arfur's either)', but you actually made me willing to picture Jude 'My God His Arms Are Hairy' Law in a sexual situation! Admittedly in sexual situation with yourself, Robert, doing filthy, filthy, humiliating things to him.
(with a side order of Mark Strong doing nasty, evil things to you both. hey, why not?)

Spent a good, ooh, must have been five minutes ruminating on whether old Guy could have made Holmes and Watson look anymore gay for each other and decided - only by having them fuck each other on screen.
In case you're in any doubt whatsoever, I would have been even more willing to watch it had he done this.

Have decided to preemptively succumb to temptation and am searching Archive of Our Own for Holmes/Watson (Hotson?) fic as I type.

* * *

Speaking of Archive of Our Own, now that it's a new shiny year I can reveal that my Yuletide fic was The Way It Crumbles, a Sky High fic for tagalongcookies, who was kind enough to say it was liked.

I myself was mind bogglingly fortunate enough to get two - yes TWO - quite brilliant Hurt Locker stories; Steady Rollin' Man by Devilc and Improvising by eglow23. Please go and read them because they are fantastic!

* * *

Have watched two episodes of Glee, purely because the tv was on and my eyes were open, and while I found it reasonably entertaining I probably won't end up watching it again.
But I still managed to come away shipping Kurt and Puck. *facepalm* Is there some operation - like a lobotomy - that cuts away the slashy, sick parts of your brain and leaves just the sane bits behind?

Mind you, if they cut away all the insane parts of MY brain I would, like Pooh, be left with very little to show afterwards.
oddegg: (Star Trek - Spock holy shit)
So - my quick, capsule (non spoilery) review of the new Star Trek? 

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ \o/ FUCKING YEAH MAN!!!

OMFG, so good! You have to go and see it, people! And I'm sooooo glad it didn't disappoint! *BEAMS*

Yes, there were a couple of fleeting little niggles - the, frankly, baffling casting of Winona Ryder being my chief one (I mean, come ON, Mr Abrams! That decision goes past 'illogical' at warp speed to land solidly in the region of 'mind boggling bloody stupid'. Apart from the obvious WTF? reason, the woman can't act and makes me personally want to push a spork wrapped in barbed wire through her face every time I see her or hear her whiny fucking voice)
Another tiny one was the otherwise great Simon Pegg's non-attempt at a Scottish accent. Though that one line at the beginning did get a laugh of recognition from the Glaswegian audience I was part of.

But otherwise, absolutely top fucking hole mate! Great acting, effects brilliant, Chris Pine makes an excellent Kirk and Zachary Quinto... Oh my GOD, but that man can come climb into my pants any bloody time he wants!! AMAZINGLY good as Spock - really fantastic acting and, as I may have just implied, hot like the burning.
An 'ooh yum!' for Karl Urban as Bones as well and a 'you fucking GO girl! (btw, nice legs)' for Zoe Saldana as Uhura.

And now - come on interwebs! *makes grabby hands* Where is my fanfiction for it? Slash, het, gen - anything!!
oddegg: (colossus - ISR fuck shuts up u)
Just been to see the Wolverine Origins film.
My incredibly in depth review? *holds out hand, waggles up and down* Meh. 

Don't get me wrong, Hugh is, as usual, sideburned sex on sex masquerading as legs with an added layer of sex on top. And Liev isn't bad either. But general feel was a bit slapdash. 

Oh well, have to see what Star Trek's like instead (which I am looking forward to like 'Woh!')

* * *
I have seen a couple of episodes of The Big Bang Theory and now have a horrible temptation to search for Sheldon/Leonard slash fic.

And speaking of slash fic, I am so glad certain Primeval writers have senses of humour. . .

* * *

HAPPY BIRTHDAY [livejournal.com profile] mysteriousaliwz !!!!

I haven't finished blackening your name in the fairytale fic yet, but hugs and kisses till then!
oddegg: (Default)
Well - I have a new cinema card and so to mark the death and resurrection of Our Lord this weekend, I shall be going to see 17 Again, Dragonball Evolution and Monsters vs Aliens 3D.
In a desperate and frankly pathetic attempt to appear more cultured and adult, I also plan to see Let The Right One In but, given that I'm holding my options open on seeing Fast & Furious, I feel that attempt is doomed to failure...

* * *

I saw Knowing the other week and, just randomly throwing this out there, but I think it could have been VASTLY improved if they'd got rid of the stupid-and-slightly-icky (given that they're kids) Adam and Eve scenario ending and instead had this:
- Entire planet goes up in flames.
- Camera pulls back, and back, till we see the alien spaceship thingies on the edge of our star system.
- Alien speech voiceover that gets subtitle translated as: 'I can't believe they fell for that! Pass me that child sized anal probe, will you?'

(I thought of this in the cinema and had to bite my hand to stop from laughing out loud. Yes, I'm horribly sick. What's new?)

* * *

I shall also be marking Easter with the writing of porn. So long as I don't get derailed by Saturday Primeval and ideas for - well, for new sorts of porn.
I think I need to build some sort of robot that follows me around the house, occasionally poking me and saying (maybe in C3-PO's voice, because that would be awesome) "FINISH YOUR PORN, BITCH!". I'm thinking the addition of some kind of Lost In Space type arm-flailing would also be very cool. 

oddegg: (alice-bunny blank face)
I think I fell a little in love with the barista who made my machiatto this morning.
She was like a lovely, curvey little female version of Joseph Gordon-Levitt of Brick fame (+10 Things I Hate About You and thus a 'we meet again!' cameo with David Krumholtz on Numb3rs).

She was quite the slowest maker of coffee I've ever seen though. 
Still, gave me more time to perv in a slightly detatched 'had no sleep and no caffeine yet' way. And it was perving because she looked about 17; I'm like a dirty old man except female and not that old. 
I should feel more guilty about that.

I really want to watch Brick again now. Absolutely brilliant film.


oddegg: (Default)

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