oddegg: (Default)
I fucking INSIST that you go and read the fill that someone has done for me!

It's X-Men: First Class and it's everything that's good or even borderline turned over to the dark side and made twisted and nastybaddarkwrong and it's ABSOLUTELY FUCKING PERFECT!!!

It's the sort of perfect that means you will never sleep again, xmen will eat you.

(and yes, it says something bad about me that I asked for it and yes, it definitely says something bad about me that I love the fill so very, very much but I DO NOT CARE!! It's genius. Go read it.)
oddegg: (Hannibal - yummy)
My babbling about pain!slut Becker in my last Primeval recap reminded me I never got round to posting the original comment fic about him in my own lj.

So here's some pain!slutty Becker. Ages old & slightly tidied up from the original.

cut for the nasty )

"Nut 'im!"

Jan. 12th, 2010 10:40 pm
oddegg: (Alice - local drug dealer)
Oh, Robert Downey Jr - is there nothing you can't do?

Because not only did you make me willing to watch Mr Madonna's version of 'This Ain't Your Muvver's Sherlock 'Olmes (an' it ain't Sir Arfur's either)', but you actually made me willing to picture Jude 'My God His Arms Are Hairy' Law in a sexual situation! Admittedly in sexual situation with yourself, Robert, doing filthy, filthy, humiliating things to him.
(with a side order of Mark Strong doing nasty, evil things to you both. hey, why not?)

Spent a good, ooh, must have been five minutes ruminating on whether old Guy could have made Holmes and Watson look anymore gay for each other and decided - only by having them fuck each other on screen.
In case you're in any doubt whatsoever, I would have been even more willing to watch it had he done this.

Have decided to preemptively succumb to temptation and am searching Archive of Our Own for Holmes/Watson (Hotson?) fic as I type.

* * *

Speaking of Archive of Our Own, now that it's a new shiny year I can reveal that my Yuletide fic was The Way It Crumbles, a Sky High fic for tagalongcookies, who was kind enough to say it was liked.

I myself was mind bogglingly fortunate enough to get two - yes TWO - quite brilliant Hurt Locker stories; Steady Rollin' Man by Devilc and Improvising by eglow23. Please go and read them because they are fantastic!

* * *

Have watched two episodes of Glee, purely because the tv was on and my eyes were open, and while I found it reasonably entertaining I probably won't end up watching it again.
But I still managed to come away shipping Kurt and Puck. *facepalm* Is there some operation - like a lobotomy - that cuts away the slashy, sick parts of your brain and leaves just the sane bits behind?

Mind you, if they cut away all the insane parts of MY brain I would, like Pooh, be left with very little to show afterwards.
oddegg: (Default)
Not Now, Bernard’ is a children’s book, published in 1980, by David McKee.

This… I don’t really know whether to call this fanfiction. I don’t really know whether I should even have posted this, to be honest.

You shouldn’t read children’s books and think of things like this.

* * * 

Not Now

Not now.

They always tell him that. Not now. Even when he’s trying to tell them… When he’s trying to say…

They won’t let him say it.

There’s a monster. They don’t know it’s a monster. They don’t see it hiding there behind that other face.

He tries to tell them, to say what the monster’s doing to him, but they won’t listen.

Not now.

Always not now. Always something else; something that has to be done, something that can’t wait, something that's more important, and even when he bites and scratches and breaks and ruins his toys – they don’t see.

Don’t see the marks on him. The bites, the scratches. Don’t see that he’s breaking. That he’s ruined.

There’s a monster in the garden, outside, over there. His mother shuts him up and leaves him in the dark and he can still feel it out there. Can still see its teeth.

It’s going to eat me up, he tells his mother, his father.

Not now, they tell him.

The garden’s bright and clear and sunny. And the monster’s there, like always. The monster’s always watching for him. The monster always tells him that he can’t tell his mother, his father.
That they wouldn’t believe him. That he’d get in trouble.

He won’t get in trouble. Because they don’t listen. Because it’s always Not Now.

And now the monster’s eaten him up. Every bit.

oddegg: (Black Books - bitches dance)
In the Co-op on my way home (to buy wholemeal pitta and cheese - yes, like Dorothy Parker's, my life is an endless cycle of song) and had a sudden and horrible temptation to write RPS slash about the cashiers. Horrible because these guys - whilst wonderful people, I'm sure -  are not the kind you want to be picturing naked; greasy haired and hollow-cheeked or badly tattooed name on the arm with a vacant look on the face that says 'that is MY name - I have it there so I can remember it, and I've nearly saved up for the reading lessons that will - hopefully - teach me what it says'
The third one looks as close as a human can get to a chipmunk. An ugly, slightly squashed chipmunk.

Why them brain? Why not the guys in the health food shop across the road? The spanish guy's ok in a stringy, 'roadie for ZZ-Top' sort of way and yes, the other one looks like a milder version of Frankie Boyle but I find that kind of hot (I'm strange, alright? *rolls eyes* You know that about me now) The 'beefcake done Amish style' one obviously hates me for some reason - I don't know, maybe I inadvertently insulted the concept of hemp at some point - but I could at least write a whump fic about him as payback.

But no - I think about the Co-op munters getting it on while the 60 yr old West Indian security guard looks on stonily. *sigh*

* * *

It's warm! Spring is sprung!

I can tell because suddenly my system goes from: 'lunchtime choice = stodge with a stodge filling and a side order of stodge, please' to 'a bag of raw peas! That's exactly what I wanted! I will eat them with a spoon *happy smile*'


oddegg: (Default)

Well, I read all the Primeval Sanctuary fics and I thought 'What a brilliant idea!' (and I must remember to add it onto the Idiots Guide) and then... well, then I had an idea for a little Sanctuary ficlet of my own. A really evil idea.
 
Before anyone protests, let me assure you that I WAS going to spare you all, but mysteriousaliwz FORCED me to post it. So if you want someone to blame... *points in mysteriousaliwz' direction*
 
(Blame Tag! Fun for all the fandom!)
 
So here - have a ficlet!

Read more... )
 
oddegg: (Dolphin noises animated)
Oh jeebus… *facepalm*
I had what I thought was the funniest idea this morning.
Doing a really cracky, CW-RPS version of ‘Geek Love’ by Katherine Dunn.


oddegg: (Jensens Ass (really good))
So – this piece has been languishing around for a while, but I’ve just been chatting to fredbassett and she inspired me to finish it. It’s a complete piece of crack!fic and was kinda inspired by the phrase, or variants of, that so many (including myself) use to sign off their fics sometimes – ‘I’m going to hell for this’
 
Sweeties, you don’t know how wrong you are.
 
***
 
I’m wondering whether to post this somewhere, but where would it go? Who would be crazy enough to take it? And would that site’s readers hunt me down en mass to fit me for a long-sleeved white jacket and a padded cell for one? Or would they be more likely to tar, feather and bludgeon me to death whilst screaming as a chorus “We don’t accept you! No more shite! gooble gobble!” like some Bizarro fandom version of ‘Freaks’?
 
Find out in next weeks exciting new episode….
 
oddegg: (SPN - Dean and dying)

A Supernatural Gen fic for anyone interested.

I've been getting my Sam and Dean on lately and although I have a couple of nice, plotless pieces of angst-free fluff in the works, most of my ideas involve my mind going to the bad place. The dark place. The place that scares me a little. Including this one I'm afraid. 
Still, its not as bad as one of the others I've got planned! *gives reassuring smile* *then realises that's not actually a reassuring statement*

**
 

 

oddegg: (transmet-fuckedspider)
I've just signed up for [profile] spn_j2_bigbang.

Despite the mile long WIP list.

I am now officially insane.

**

Although actually, I'm going to be using one of the WIP ideas for it, so it'll get rid of one of them!

...which as I've just added two completely cracky SPN RPS ideas to the WIP pile, is a good thing.

*bangs head on desk*

Anyone know how to shut off the plot bunny part of your brain? Just temporarily? 
oddegg: (primeval - anomaly radio)

Thoughts I am thinking:

  • I'm seeing [profile] spn_j2_bigbang pimped everywhere and I am getting more and more tempted to sign up. I have a  couple of J2 ideas and the glimmering and a half of some SPN ones, all of them AU.
  • regarding the above, I'm thinking I'm mad. (Your WIP list is now about 10ft long woman! Impulse control would be a pretty feckin GOOD IDEA right about now, hum?!)
  • I need to buy a router for the WIFI thingy.
  • TORCHWOOD!!!! WOOO!!!
  • random porny musing - actor who plays Oliver Leek in S2 Primeval was in Greenwing - Mac from Greenwing, mmmm - Torchwood should do something involving a hospital, then Mac can cameo and shag Captain Jack and/or Ianto!! But not Owen because his frog mouth freaks me out.
  • 1) I want to see Oliver Leek porn 2) My brain! it's broken... *is sad*
oddegg: (Spider-santa)

I’m going to be getting myself a laptop after xmas and then I might actually be able to write and post stuff when I say I will.

The home computer I now use is actually mr oddegg’s and whilst it was perfect when all I wanted to do was send emails or look things up online every so often, now that I’ve shrugged off my Luddite shackles, embraced the technology revolution, tuned in, jacked up and, most importantly, started writing porn constantly, I really need to get a machine of my own.

 

Because somehow, “Sweetie, can I interrupt your very important video editing so I can write about men rimming each other” doesn’t meet with such a favourable response. Can’t think why.

 

**

 

And having decided on the new comp. I now feel I should probably ban myself from the internet for my own good.

I was hop-scotching my way around comic sites and on a comicbookresources forum came upon an old thread about how long you can stay awake (yeah, I’m not sure what it was doing there either) and there were people who were all ‘well, I need my 9 hours but I did once stay awake for a WHOLE 36 HOURS!!’ and my first two responses were, pretty simultaneously:

a) Cunts. Try 16 weeks of intermittent insomnia, bitch!

b) 36 hours. Pussy-ass motherfuckers. I was awake for a 40 hour stretch on Friday and still went out partying!!

 

But the one that worried me was the third, rather competitive response:

c) Hmmm. My personal ‘best’ was about 66 hours. I wonder if I could top that.

 

I then found myself actually thinking about testing how long I can do without sleep. Just out of curiosity.

Don’t think I should let my brain out without supervision anymore.

 

**

“I need my sleep. I do. I need 8 hours a day… and about 10 at night.”

Bill Hicks

 

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