Fiction, and blatherings

[oddegg]

The drugs don't work...
No, actually, for a variety of reasons I couldnt start taking the pills last night. So I had another night of sod all sleep *starts laughing hysterically*
They better bloody work when I start them tonight. Mr oddegg doesnt know how close he came to being smothered when he started snoring...

And here's fic! Which I said I'd post yesterday! Hah! (I lie like a rug)

Title: A Fine and Private place, but…
Fandom: Primeval
Pairing/Characters: Connor/Ryan
Rating: R
Summary: Today’s t-shirt slogan: Dracula Suck’s: Or, It’s not the size of your teeth that matters; it’s what you do with them that Count’s.
Word Count: 1,588
Disclaimer: Really not mine. Really didn’t happen.
Notes: For byrons_brain – don’t think its quite what you had in mind, pet, but you flung plot bunnies at us so nicely (…wait a second – we shouldn’t be rewarding you for that…)
And fredbassett’s Lyle makes another appearance! Yay for Lyle!


****

The graveyard was silent, mist curled atmospherically around the stones. In the distance, towards the wooded hills – a high, haunting sound…
A man is on the broken down wall by the trees there, all in black, and ghosting up behind him silently is…

“Ahh… lizen to ze children of ze night – vot music zey make”

“They’re dinosaur birds, Connor, not wolves. And it’s 6.30 in the morning”

Connor pouted. Fine, it seemed his silent creep needed some work. And how the hell did Ryan know it was him? He hadn’t even turned round.

“I could hear your cords when you were trying to sneak up on me. Very stealthy clothes you got there”

Connor’s jaw dropped. OK – the man not only had like, freaky sharp hearing but apparently he was telepathic or psychic as well ‘cos he could read minds.

Ryan half turned to add something else… and then spun round fully and fell off the wall. So, not fully psychic then. It appeared the rest of Connor’s outfit had surprised him just a little.

Connor peaked over the old dry-stone at Ryan – who was glaring up at him like, like –
Like an extremely embarrassed, pissed off and, most importantly, heavily armed special ops Captain. Whoops.

“th’sorry?”

“Connor! Why in gods name are you dressed up like bloody Dracula?!”

“Halloween latht night. I didn’t have time to chanth”

Damn teeth. They’d been making him lisp all night at the party.

Ryan seemed to have decided that the ground was a comfortable place to stay and he leant back on his elbows as he looked Connor up and down. He raised one eyebrow.

”Ok. Cloak and dinner jacket, check. False fangs, fake blood and widow’s peak, check. But cords? I’m fairly sure Vlad didn’t have a secret desire to be a geography teacher, Temple”

Connor decided to take the moral high ground, to be the bigger man, to not rise to… he decided ‘fuck it’ and gave Ryan the finger
“Thut up – the party wath outside and thethe were warm”

Ryan wasn’t listening though. That often too-impassive face was creased up by a huge grin and he chuckled as he continued his teasing
“Maybe he does though, eh? Maybe Dracula’s got a nerd kink or something – the brides are going to come back to the castle unexpectedly one night and find him in tweeds and a jacket with elbow patches! And they’ll be all shocked as he’s trying to hide the half-moon spectacles and screaming ‘Nooo! Don’t look at me!’”

Ok. Either Ryan had been smoking something while he was out here or he’d put far, far too much thought into this ‘Dracula the Dread Librarian’ idea.
Connor thought he should be worried about that and he would have been, really he would, but Ryan’s tumble to the ground had rucked up the jumper he had on and there was a little strip of skin showing between that and the combats that were riding low on his hips and Connor was finding the way that incredibly toned stomach twitched as the other man laughed rather distracting.

He watched the skin and ran his tongue over one of the fangs he’d been wearing all night (firmly, but temporarily cemented on) – and Ryan stopped laughing on a hitched breath.

Connor snapped his eyes up to meet the other man’s and saw that though his face was impassive again Ryan eye’s had gone intent, pupils wider in the grey morning light, that his chest was rising and falling faster to the rhythm of quickened breath. There was a dark undercurrent to his dry voice when he said
“You look…hungry when you do that, Temple”

But probably not as hungry as he looked now, with his smile showing off all his teeth as well as the fangs. So Tom wanted to play?
He dropped down and straddled Ryan, who let out a little ‘oof!’ at the suddenness – and then a louder ‘nnngh!’ when Connor licked across his throat and let the fangs scratch a bit on his skin.
Connor tried for deep and sexy as he asked
“Did you want me to thuck your neck, then?”

Nope; somehow he didn’t think ‘sexy’ was compatible with the lisp. Unless Ryan had a speech impediment kink, which knowing the man’s geek fetish might be possible, but which given the stifled laughter he didn’t think was the case.

Ryan quirked a half smile at him and growled
“Right verb, wrong body part, ‘Vlad’”

Oh? What did… Oh. Mmmm – well, he didn’t think he’d want even plastic fangs anywhere near his ‘body part’ but, SAS – live dangerously and all that. He wriggled down Ryan’s body – probably not as sexily as the brides had writhed over Giles in that Buffy episode but it was quite hard to slither in cords. They tended to drag.

The air was too cold for him to do much more than just unzip and push open Ryan’s combats and he was thankful that the man’s usual lack of underwear meant easier access. Ryan was already fully hard and Connor was also very thankful that his wide jaw meant his eye teeth were set fairly far apart from each other because otherwise there was no way that Ryan’s prick was fitting in his mouth without – well, prickage going on and he rather liked this part of the Captain being undamaged and in full working order.

Even so, he managed to be careful as he licked and lapped at the wetness already seeping from the slit and as he twirled his tongue around the head but he couldn’t quite help a tiny scrape against the sides as he sucked the length of Ryan in.
He pulled back – accidentally catching him again – and was about to apologise when he heard the small moan that Ryan let out. That hadn’t sounded like a worried moan. Tentatively he sucked back down, letting the teeth graze a little firmer – and that was definitely not a worried sound.

Connor grinned inside – apparently someone had a little thing about the use of teeth. Well, if that’s what he wanted…

He pulled back again, adding a little twist so the fangs brushed around Ryan’s shaft in a spiral, and let his front teeth catch just under the head – the only thing keeping the cock in his mouth as he laved the underside with his tongue. Then down again. He couldn’t get that far down because of the fangs, and he was dribbling a really rather alarming amount but Ryan didn’t seem to mind. Connor’s cloak had spread over his head so he couldn’t see Tom’s face but he was having to hold his hips down for fear of the man doing himself some real damage (or his own teeth getting knocked out, fangs and all) and judging by the sounds – Ryan was moaning and calling out above him like – well, like a man who’s really, really enjoying getting his cock sucked.

Connor really like those noises. They went straight to certain parts of him and, keeping in mind the horror movie theme, he was sure they could have been used to bring life back to a dead man. If the dead man was gay of course.
And judging by the increase in those noises it sounded like…
“Oh, Jesus – Connor…fuck, gonna…Aaaarh!”

He barely had time to lick his lips and tuck the Captain back in before Ryan pulled him up, rolled on top of him and pressed his mouth to Connors neck – and his hand to Connor’s crotch.
“Bloody hell, that was good! Well…” and Connor could just hear the smirk in the other man’s voice “You’ve certainly shown that Dracula’s good at sucking something – it’s just not blood…”

Before Connor could pull back and glare at the other man, or demand he reciprocate or, more likely, whimper pathetically and come in his pants if Ryan carried on rubbing like that, there was a shout from the trees. Lyle’s shout.

“Oi! Captain! Get yourself over here – something’s up”

Looked like he was going with ‘whimper pathetically’ then; though not, as Ryan was sighing and getting up with an apologetic look, with the option of coming. Even of coming in his pants. Yup – whimpering sounded good.

Lyle had walked over to meet Ryan and was adding
“We’ve found another anomaly in addition to the one those bird things were out of, and you really need to check it out.” he smirked at Connor “You too, Connor; there’s even weirder than usual shit happening and I think it should be right up your alley. Besides, you shouldn’t lie in wet grass. You’ll get all stiff”

Lyle got the full force of Connor’s angriest glare for that, but as he left snickering it didn’t seem to have had much of an effect.
Ryan at least had the decency not to laugh, though he did look like he wanted to. He shrugged and said in a low voice
“Sorry, Connor. Bloody anomalies” before he left after his lieutenant.

Bloody anomalies was right. Connor thought he’d actually figured out the purpose of the anomalies now. They were obviously sent by a malevolent god who was trying to kill him through sexual frustration, with Lyle as his evil, cock-blocking messiah.
Next time he dressed up Connor was going to be Van Helsing – and the lieutenant was getting a stake right where the sun didn’t shine.

He adjusted himself uncomfortably and sighed as he started to follow the other two. For this, there better be something really exciting happening.



TBC…