This was really quite sweet, but you need a beta for this, very badly. You've switched tense repeatedly, and I don't know if you've noticed, but there are dozens, literally dozens, of punctuation and grammar errors, making it fairly difficult to read. Still and all, very sweet. Gathering from the rest of the comments, you are well liked, and I'm quite sure no one wants to point out the mistakes out of respect. This is why I've gone anonymous, and I sincerely hope I haven't offended you. It was a sweet story, and I enjoyed it immensely. That bit about comparing Jared to a Gremlin made me laugh aloud. ;)
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Date: 2008-01-24 02:54 pm (UTC)