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Oct. 29th, 2007 06:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
oddegg**
Things didn’t work out quite as he planned them though.
He’d followed behind Jen to his trailer because they were going straight over to the bar together – and because he just couldn’t resist seeing what Jen’s reaction to the poems was. He hadn’t been there when his co-star had got the others.
Jen’s response wasn’t what he’d hoped for.
“GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING
“What?! Wha, huh, what?!”
Ok, not very articulate but hearing the usually calm Jensen swearing up a blue streak kinda surprised him.
Jen come out of the trailer bedroom with the paper the poems were printed on crumpled in one fist and his other hand clenched in his hair. His eyes were wild when he looked at Jared
“I’ve got a fucking stalker!! Some psycho’s been following me around and leaving these notes – bloody poetry – for a couple of weeks now. They got into my freaking apartment block, they know where I have my bloody coffee – and now they get onto set and into my fucking trailer?! I’m getting the cops on this before I get my throat slit or something!”
“NO!! Don’t do that – no cops! You don’t need cops man; it wasn’t some psycho stalker – it, it was me”
Jensen went very, very still and his face was blank as he looked at Jared. Then his eyes narrowed and his right eye – the one that for some reason always looked like it had a scar under it on film – started twitching slightly
“It was you? Are you shitting me? Do you know how freaked out I’ve been over this?! Why…? Why would you even do something like this Jared? This some funny fucking JOKE to you?! Did you cook this up with Rosenbaum or something? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU THINK YOU WERE PLAYING AT?!!”
Jensen’s voice rose in volume and he was near screaming by the end. He had backed Jared across the trailer until his back hit the wall and was glaring up at him as Jared tried to answer
“I – I…”
Some of the anger leaked out of Jensen’s expression, and Jared would have been pleased except that disappointment and hurt crept in to replace it. When Jen spoke next it was like he was wounded and that deep voice was bleeding out all the pain
“I can’t believe you did this, Jared. I thought… I thought you were ok with me being gay and to pull something like this, some fucking high-school prank… I thought you were my friend”
Jared wanted to scream that he was Jen’s friend. That it wasn’t a prank, that he meant it, meant all of it. That he wanted Jen so badly he couldn’t think right sometimes. But he couldn’t get the words past the damn lump in his throat and all he could do was watch as Jen’s face hardened and he bit out
“Well fuck you, man. Fuck you”
before slamming out of the trailer.
Jared slid down the wall and noted numbly that the lump seemed to have dissolved now. Dissolved into the tears which had started running silently down his face.
**
Chris and Steve’s set was long over by the time Jared arrived and the bar was crowded. It was also out of focus and seemed to be drifting at a slight angle as he looked around – Jared thought the management should really look into that.
Though upon reflection he supposed that might have more to do with the fact that he’d put away about three-quarters of a bottle of bourbon in the few miserable hours he’d spent at his place before deciding he had to try and explain things to Jensen – talk to the man. Or throw himself sobbing at his feet, whichever worked best.
He saw Jen at the same time as Jen saw him, and he nearly started crying again when Jen’s face twisted up and he shot up from the table he was sitting at with Steve and stormed out of the side door.
Jared went to follow him but had barely got one step before a hand had grabbed his arm and he was slammed back against a wall. Chris Kane was scowling up at him and saying in a low snarl
“What the fuck did you do to my boy, man? He’s been acting like a kicked dog all night and all he’d say was it’s something to do with you. You’ve hurt Jenny I’m a-gonna whup your ass!”
Normally Jared would find it funny that someone half a foot smaller than him was threatening him, but Chris was the kind of hard-edged bastard who would be the last man standing in any bar fight and anyway, Jared would probably just lie down and take any ass-kicking handed out to him tonight.
Chris jabbed a finger hard in his chest and snapped
“What did you do, Jared?”
And Jared told him the whole story.
**
“…and then Jen just left and I don’t know what to do Chris! I really, really like him and he’s not gonna want to speak to me now and it’s all gone to shit!”
They were sitting at a nearby table that Chris had pulled Jared over to half way through Jared’s tale. The other man had his face in his hands and his voice was sort of muffled as he said
“So, let me get this straight. You decided you wanted to get into Jenny’s shorts and you thought the best way to achieve this was to stalk the guy using poetry?!”
Chris lifted up his head and ignored Jared’s mumble of ‘wasn’t stalking, n’ I don’t just wanna get in his shorts, wanna be with him’ as he continued
“My god, but you two are so damn pathetic you kinda deserve each other. Jared, I might be out of line telling you this but Jenny’s liked you from the get-go, he just thought you were straight. Seeing the way you were around him the times I’ve met you I sorta thought he was wrong, but the boy’s always been a little slow when it comes to realising folk are after him.”
Jared bristled a little at this small slight to his Jen and said sullenly
“S’not slow. He’s just shy”
Chris’s slow smile was mischief personified as he drawled
“Oh, I know the boy can be a bit bashful, but man – I may call Jenny by a girl’s name and he may be prettier than a guy has a right to be, but the dude’s not a girl. And he ain’t retiring when he knows he’s got the green light for something. You’d have been better off just screwing ‘im against the wall months ago, man!”
The smile slid into ‘evil’ territory as Chris stood up
“Now, I’m going back over to Steve and we’re gonna laugh our asses off about this for the rest of the night. If you want my advice you’ll go outside, find Jenny and try that wall thing. He’s probably smokin’ his way through a pack of Camel’s like he does when he gets stressed”
And with a small salute he sauntered off.
Jared sat blinking for a moment, and then dug a pen out of his pocket, scribbled something on a napkin and made his way to the side door.
**
Dim though it was in the bar it was darker outside and after the door closed behind him Jared’s eyes didn’t get chance to adjust before a low voice to his right said
“What the hell do you want, Jared? Come to laugh at me some more?”
The small flare of red at the end of the cigarette lit up Jen’s face and two thoughts chased through Jared’s mind – ‘huh, Chris was right about the Camel’s’ and ‘god, he looks beautiful’,
He didn’t think either of those would do as a response and so he just wordlessly thrust the napkin he’d written on at the other man.
Jen threw away the cigarette and took it with a suspicious look. He squinted to read it in the faint glow from the street light a few yards away.
Stand up and look at me, face to face
My friend,
Unloose the beauty of your eyes.....
The look he turned on Jared was caught between bewildered and agonized. He said
“What…? Jared – ”
Before Jared interrupted in a rush
“M’not making fun, Jen, honest! I…, I wanted to try and tell you how I felt and I couldn’t say it to your face and so I thought, I thought that this would do it except that it’s all gone wrong and I’m sorry Jensen, I’m so sorry Jen. I just wanted you so much and now I’ve fucked it all up!”
Jen just stared at him and for several long, horrible seconds Jared thought his friend was just going to turn and leave – and then for the second time that night he found himself grabbed and pushed back onto a wall, but this time he had Jensen plastered warmly against his front and Jen’s hands fisted in his shirt and Jen’s mouth – oh god yes, finally, Jen’s mouth soft and wet on his, tongue snaking out to tease open Jared’s lips and tangle with his tongue and flick over the roof of his mouth.
Jared wrapped an arm around Jen and clasped the back of his head with the other hand to tip his head back and deepen the kiss. He tried to use teeth and lips and tongue to make all the apologies he could, to tell Jensen all the things he was too bloody clumsy to say any other way. And Jensen seemed to understand as he smoothed his hands over Jared in a soothing, accepting caress.
Jared broke off the kiss with a hissed intake of breath when those hands crept under his shirt
“Jeez – cold!”
Jen looked taken aback for a moment and then chuckling darkly. He deliberately brushed chilly fingers over Jared’s stomach and up to his pec’s – laughing out right at the gasp he elicited. He leant back in to say in a low voice
“Payback time, Jare – so suck it up, bitch”
Jared’s gasp was really more of a moan this time as Jensen pinched his nipples and sucked on his neck. It was totally unfair for someone to have the ability to sound that sexy; Jared would complain if he wasn’t having such a good time.
Then the door next to the banged open. Jensen was two steps away from Jared before he could blink, watching him from under lowered eyelids as the group who came out made their way noisily to the street. When they’d gone he said, simply
“We can’t do this in the street, Jare. I’m going to get a cab back to my place. Are you coming with me?”
And the only answer possible was
“Yes. Of course”
**
Jared thought he’d go crazy during the cab ride back.
He hadn’t fully appreciated it before, but now he thought that Jensen must have some sort of magnet-type field that drew him in – like a Padalecki attractor ray or something – because Jared had to literally sit on his hands to stop from touching the guy.
Jensen didn’t seem to be affected at all and spent the ride coolly staring out of the window. Even when they got to his apartment he didn’t rush – chatting politely to a neighbour he’d bumped into on the way to the door and as they went up in the elevator, as if he didn’t notice the waves of frustration and desire beating off Jared.
Jensen even gave the guy a casual wave goodnight as he opened his own door and Jared almost thought that Jen didn’t want this, crave this like he did – but then the door was open and Jen was dragging him through and slamming him back against it to frantically attack his mouth again.
“God, god Jare! Want you, oh god, want you so badly…”
Jared would have replied with something similar but the way Jen was working nipping little bites down his neck and across his collar bone was kinda turning his brain to mush and actually making it hard to breath – though if he dropped dead from lack of air right here and now he thought he would die happy.
And then Jensen lined their hips up and ground his hard-on into Jared’s and he decided that like hell was he dying now when things were getting REALLY interesting!
He reached down and grabbed Jen’s ass, lifting him up as he turned them so the other man’s back was now to the wall. Jen made a little squeak of surprise and then wrapped his legs around Jared’s hips, throwing his head back as Jared explored his neck.
“Forget you can do that – y’r such a giant freak…”
Jen’s mumble buzzed against Jared’s lips as he kissed his adams-apple. He lifted back long enough to say
“Shuddup, Ya love it”
Jen may have tried to speak but Jared licked a long stripe up his neck and jaw back to his mouth, and swallowed any answer he may have made.
Then for a while it was a wonderful confusion of kisses and groping hands and rolling hips, until suddenly Jared realised Jen was scrabbling at his chest and saying ‘Off. Off, off, off!’ and he had a near panic moment before he realised that Jen just wanted his shirt off. Yeah – less clothes, that sounded good, that sounded peachy. In fact, no clothes at all sounded even better.
Jen wriggled to make Jared put him down and then began push-steering him backwards down the hall, the whole thing made ungainly and awkward because they were still kissing each other madly and trying to get each others clothes off at the same time.
Jen managed to steer Jared to the right but then they kinda got stalled in the bedroom doorway with more snogging until Jen pushed Jared so he stumbled back.
They stood a few steps apart panting wildly. Jen’s shirt was open and his chest was heaving. His face was flushed, his hair mussed and his neck was marked from Jared’s teeth.
Jared hadn’t ever seen anything that looked better and he reached out again but Jen held out a hand. Jared actually heard himself whine.
There was no trace of shyness left anywhere in Jen’s stance or face, and it was pretty much an order when he barked
“Clothes! Take your clothes off now and get on the bed!”
Jared never knew he could strip that fast – he damn near lost an ear ripping his shirt off. Jensen undressed more slowly and was just unbuttoning his jeans when Jared fell back, fully naked, onto the bed. Jen stilled for a moment and then, jeans forgotten, he padded barefoot over.
Jared lay still as Jensen looked down at him with hooded eyes. Then the other man curved over him, bracing himself with his knee and one arm, running the other hand over Jared’s bare skin. When he spoke his voice was as sultry hot as a
“God, Jared. I’ve imagined you so many times like this. Laid out naked on my bed”
He bent to brush kisses along Jared’s ribs, down his stomach. Jared jerked at the touch, panted trying to get his breath in air that suddenly seemed thick. He could almost feel the static building up, smell the ozone in the room. He looked down and moaned as he met Jensen’s eyes. Those amazing eyes burning intently up at him, those perfect lips parted. His voice drifting over in a whisper
“Gonna make you feel so good, Jare…”
Then those lips were closing around his cock and Jensen sucked him in deep –
and the storm broke.
Jesus God! Christ in heaven! Nothing, nothing had ever felt this good before.
He’d had good blow-jobs before – hell, he’d had great blow-jobs before;
– and ohgod, Jared was gonna cum in about two seconds time if he didn’t stop.
“Jen, Jen – stop, gonna – ungh!”
Just in time Jensen let him go. Jared gasped for breath and watched as Jen pushed himself up and grinned down at him as he finally shucked off his jeans and boxer-briefs before clambering back onto the bed. He straddled Jared’s lap and said in a teasing tone
“Little close to the edge there, buddy? Feeling a bit premature?”
And ok, Jared might be in love with the guy but that was fighting talk – and if Jensen hadn’t been undulating his hips like that so that their cocks rubbed up against each other just right then Jared would have totally done something about it. As it was he managed to stutter out
“F-fuck you, man!”
Which admittedly wasn’t much of a come back, and which Jen managed to top simply by brushing his lips over Jared’s and saying easily
“Ok then”
Jared couldn’t help the little start he gave when he got what Jen meant, and cursed himself when he saw the other man had noticed. Jensen raised on eyebrow and frowned slightly as he said, more of a statement than a question
“You’ve never done anything like this before, have you?”
“Do hand-job’s behind the bleachers at school count?”
He tried to keep his tone light but all he could think was ‘please, please – don’t get all noble and shit on me now!’
Thankfully, it seemed Jensen wasn’t feeling very noble tonight, and his slow smile was pure sin as he sat and reached over for something in the bedside drawer. He turned back and drawled
“Well, in that case – watch and learn boy, because you’re doing this next time”
One tiny little part of Jared’s brain broke away then and started doing a manic little celebration dance because ‘next time! next time! We’re gonna do this again, he said next time!’
But the vast majority of all his thoughts were on Jensen and what he was doing as – holy shit – he slicked up his fingers and reached them down between his own legs. He grabbed hold of Jen’s thighs and out of the corner of his eyes he could see the flesh go white around his fingertips but his attention was focussing down like tunnel vision and though it vaguely flashed through his mind that Jen would have bruises tomorrow he couldn’t bring himself to care when the man was shuddering and moaning above him, leaning down to exchange sloppy, open-mouthed kisses.
Then Jen had rolled a rubber down on him and slicked him up and at long last he was sliding o-so-slowly down onto Jared’s cock.
And then he was all the way inside his co-star. His friend. His lover. They were still for one long moment and Jared felt his eyes prickle because this moment was so perfect; so beautiful. Jen’s eyes were glistening as well as he looked down and said in a choked voice
“Jare…”
Jared shifted his grip to Jen’s hip, pushed his shoulders down into the mattress and bucked. Jensen cried out and he didn’t think he’d ever hear a more wonderful sound in his life.
Then they were just clutching and grabbing at each other, and part of him wanted to go slow – to make this last – but Jensen was so tight, so hot around his cock that he could barely stand to pull out before slamming back into him. He raised his knees and used his legs to thrust harder, pulling Jensen down onto his chest. And Jen wasn’t being any more patient, making a high keening noise above him and digging blunt nails into Jared’s arms for leverage as he pushed himself plunging back onto the deep strokes.
Jared shoved a hand between their bodies to grip Jensen’s cock and roughly pull on it once, twice – and then Jen was coming. Spilling between them with another cry and sinking his teeth into Jared’s shoulder.
And that, feeling Jen marking him, feeling him tighten around him, seeing him loose himself, was all Jared needed to join him – rearing up one last time and coming; Jensen’s name on his lips.
**
Afterwards, they somehow managed to untangle their knackered bodies from the sheets and drag them up over themselves. Jen rolled over onto his stomach, flung one arm over Jared and buried his face in his shoulder, and Jared smiled to himself because he would have bet money on the man being a snuggler. Jen’s voice was already slurring with sleep when he mumbled
“Y’r staying?”
Jared curled his arm around his new lover and again, gave the only possible answer
“Yes. Of course”
And though he was just as tired, he waited till the other man was breathing deeply in sleep before he added softly
“Stay forever if you’ll have me”
**
So the poetry thing worked out in the end, though Jen tells Jared solemnly that he’s going to be teasing him about his ‘stalker’ tactics for the rest of their fucking lives and Kim never understands why it takes them so many takes to get the ‘poetry reading’ line right in ‘Shadow’.
And when
Megan and Jared’s Mom hadn’t been much better either.
Anyway, they kind of agree that in the future, soppy romantic gestures will be left alone in favour of gestures like fucking each other through the floor, or blowing each other in the shower – and Jared doesn’t let on that he knows Jen’s kept all the poems to look at sometimes, and Jensen doesn’t let on that sometimes he’s not really asleep when Jared murmurs lines of verse to him in the night; half-words whispered low.
And they mostly keep to the no-poetry agreement otherwise, apart from a couple of times – one is when Jensen presents Jared with a copy of a poem by Auden on Valentines day and says with a shit-eating grin on his face
“You can just call me Bud”
Which Jared doesn’t get till he read the poem – and ok, it was a bit silly in parts but mostly it was hot and really, were English professors supposed to write stuff like that? But he couldn’t complain that much about something that got Jensen’s cock in his mouth.
The other time is when Jared gives Jensen something – and they don’t really talk about it – about what it means; but during the shooting of the second season ‘Dean’ can often be seen smiling at the silver ring he wears after the cameras have stopped rolling. And when they’re alone in the trailer ‘Sam’ will sometimes stroke that gleam of metal that the other seems to have forgotten to take off. That actually, he never takes off anymore.
And if you could see inside the band, where it circles that tanned finger, you would see inscribed the only original line of poetry that Jared has ever given to Jensen, the line Jensen loves the best –
JA – I wear you like a ring around my heart - JP
-----------
In the link below is a Rambling & Anal A/N (because I’m a sad enough sack to want to put footnotes in a fanfic). I don’t know how many of you will want to read it.
There is also the full text of the poems that Jared left for Jensen. You may want to read them (and I’m putting them after the A/N ‘cos I’m an evil sad sack):
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Date: 2008-06-16 04:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-11 07:56 pm (UTC)