The Usual

Jun. 10th, 2009 05:57 pm
oddegg: (Booze aint food)
My 'Connor in a dress' fic is refusing to be PWP, damn its eyes! And my trichophilia Trek prompt is also threatening to zoom away from me at warp speed. :(
*glares at brain* Just come up with porn, fer feck's sake! We want none of this extraneous 'plot' shite.

* * *
Am currently eating Udon noodle salad and deriving far more satisfaction than is seemly in a life-long vegetarian from the fact that it's exactly like eating worms. *g*
I also have Edamame salad. Say it with me people - 'Mmmmm.... Edamame....'

* * *
Was slightly bummed on the way back from work to notice that some fuckwits painted over my favourite piece of graffiti (a brilliant werewolfy type figure in a shirt & tie). WTF? Why!?
Why paint over something that was funny and well done and made me smile when I saw it every morning, but leave all the tagging that's on the same street? It wasn't even like it was bang on the street - it was tucked away back off the road! But you leave the scribblings of morons and the bad misspellings of 'hoar'?
Graffiti can be amazing and intelligent and subversive. Tagging is the spray paint equivalent of standing in the road at 4am screaming your own name. I know which I'd rather have as part of my environment.

* * *
Someone is now following me on Twitter and I have NO idea why. I have posted once - total - a month ago and then swiftly realised I didn't quite understand how the damn thing worked and gave up.
Can only conclude that they made a mistake. Or they're psychic and I'm going to start twittering something very interesting in the future and they're planning on being ahead in the queue...
oddegg: (Spider man - truck nemesis)
Cut below for - whoa - quite a lot of rather random ramblings, in which I ruminate. (I may be as easily distracted as a toddler shown a glitter ball, but at least I can alliterate, damn it)

Oh. And there's links to some meme fic I wrote as well.

And to kick it off...

* * *

Why do so many Indian boys seem to have absolutely no bum?

click... )


Apr. 27th, 2009 09:20 pm
oddegg: (LOTR - golem fucker)
*pokes LJ with a pointy stick*

Why am I not getting comments sent to my email?

*pokes email with pointy stick*

What the hell?! 

* * *

(and [ profile] mysteriousaliwz  i am NOT writing 'Connor is a pretty pretty princess prince princess in green velvet' fic)

(even though Blade would be awesome with a misericorde)

(and Ryan could lean threateningly over suitors while Lyle looks on with crossed arms and smirks)

(and then one day the Mighty Knight Quinn would come along with his shiny armour and save Connor from a hideous creature called Leek and the brothers would realise this is TRUE LOVE and not stand in their way and they live happily ever after)
oddegg: (chad - bwnekkidsmoking)

There are three school boys who go part of the same way as me on my way into work in the morning and I’m finding them more and more amusing. 

They’re proper little Glasgae lads; around 11 years old, wearing as much sports wear as they can get away with under the school rules. And they’re loud and they’re boisterous and they’ve got their hair cropped short ‘intae the wood’ apart from the tallest who has a proto-mohawk-come-flattop thing going on.

And they’re complete, total slashtastic little drama queens.

Example: Boy 1 and boy 2 (who have emerged as the bff’s of the trio over time) are today scuffling and wrestling with each other. Boy 1 gets boy 2 into a headlock and exclaims “Aye! Who’s the daddy, bitch!” Boy 2 tells him (slightly muffled) to ‘get tae fuck’ and boy 1 begins knuckling his head. 

Boy 3? Gives a huge, put upon sigh and asks immensely wearily
“Will youse two just shag already? The tension’s getting unbearable”

Oh, boys!! *draws sparkly heart around all three*
I am very tempted to tell them to look me up in 8 to 10 years if they ever need a fag-hag, the little darlings.

* * * 

And speaking in an entirely non-creepy and not-dubious-at-all way of children, my book groups text tonight was ‘Novel on Yellow Paper’ by Stevie Smith for my book group and while it’s wonderful (of course it is, it’s Stevie) this particular bit is so brilliant that I’m going to have to quote it at you.
“Prunella got the children right on to the right books. You know the stuff they slop out to the little B.B.C. brattery? So wide-eyed and daisy-sweet, and solemn-young and sweet sweet smell of childhood, as Medea said, the moment she jabbed the knife into the couple of them to spite Jason. But of course they were never married. My dear, that makes all the difference. Only an emotional careerist could have run off with a foreigner and – hang the wedding. And we all know what emotional careerists are like when there are knives left lying around.”


* * *

Conversational segue on the tube I wish I'd been party to:
woman sitting down: "...because my mum was all set to marry my biological dad's second cousin but then he died of cancer..."
*tube starts up, conversation becomes inaudible due to noise, tube reaches next stop 1 minute later*
same woman: "...I'll eat Indian food at a restaurant but I don't like it as a takeaway..."


oddegg: (Spider-fckn kidding)
Now see, just when I get some faith in humanity back I come across something like this and I end up thinking that the best thing all round would be if god just decided to do the flood thing again and wipe us all out - maybe start again with a pet rock collection.

I mean really, this is a woman who has qualified as a teacher, who gets the whole class to say what they dislike about a student?!

It doesn't even matter that the kid is special needs. It doesn't even matter that the kid is only five fucking years old
That just adds an extra layer of jesus-where's-a-columbine-incident-when-you-need-one to the whole thing.
You do not do that to ANYONE, of ANY age or disposition you stupid fucking bitch!!

I don't usually comment on things like this but I'm definitely sending a card to the poor kid. Maybe if he gets enough he can overlay some better memories on the whole shitty thing.

JESUS!! I am so fucked off now.
oddegg: (fish heart)
We've re-arranged the living room today.
According to mr oddegg the couch is much happier in its new position. It is, in fact, 'getting its groove-thang on' 'much like James Brown'.

But we shouldn't talk too much about getting surround sound speakers 'in case it gets jealous'.

Oh, and I needn't worry, the bag of eviserated tomato hearts he had left over from making the soup 'isn't a dead foetus'

...sometimes I wonder where he hides his drugs - and why he isn't sharing them.


And an early morning Happy Birthday to [personal profile] fredbassett!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope you get an excess of every nice thing darling, and I send all my love.

oddegg: (Spider-fckn kidding)

I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to rant incoherently for a moment because I’ve just seen this BBC news headline: Diana ‘had contraceptive pills’


Who cares? No. Really. Who the FUCK cares about this shit? It has been 10 years. Why is this still, not only considered news, but considered headline news?


She may have been a lovely woman, she may have been a vapid bitch, she may have been pregnant with Dodi’s child, she may have been driven off the road by paparazzi; she may even have been clandestinely assassinated by frickin ninja smurfs sent by Prince Philip the secret alien Lizard King of the world - I don’t know.


I didn’t care at the time, and apart from perhaps a brief moment of ‘oh, that’s sad. How awful for her family’, unless you knew the woman personally YOU SHOULDN’T CARE EITHER!!  


This is not fucking news, it is gossip! Its just one more symptom of this ‘celebrity’ fixated culture of ours that will tolerate any level of useless, talentless-asshattedness from our scrape-the-fucking-barrel ‘personalities’ so long as we can carry on gazing at you on the goggle-box and looking at your pictures in magazines and dreaming, oh yes!, of that happy fucking day when we too can grab our piece of the rainbow, catch that falling star etc and see ourselves there on Celebrity Big Brother along with the rest of the wastes of genetic material.

The best part of these stupid bastards stayed in the condom when it split.




I think it’s possible I may find the general xmas atmosphere rather irritating. Bah fucking Humbug.

oddegg: (Spider-santa)

I’m going to be getting myself a laptop after xmas and then I might actually be able to write and post stuff when I say I will.

The home computer I now use is actually mr oddegg’s and whilst it was perfect when all I wanted to do was send emails or look things up online every so often, now that I’ve shrugged off my Luddite shackles, embraced the technology revolution, tuned in, jacked up and, most importantly, started writing porn constantly, I really need to get a machine of my own.


Because somehow, “Sweetie, can I interrupt your very important video editing so I can write about men rimming each other” doesn’t meet with such a favourable response. Can’t think why.




And having decided on the new comp. I now feel I should probably ban myself from the internet for my own good.

I was hop-scotching my way around comic sites and on a comicbookresources forum came upon an old thread about how long you can stay awake (yeah, I’m not sure what it was doing there either) and there were people who were all ‘well, I need my 9 hours but I did once stay awake for a WHOLE 36 HOURS!!’ and my first two responses were, pretty simultaneously:

a) Cunts. Try 16 weeks of intermittent insomnia, bitch!

b) 36 hours. Pussy-ass motherfuckers. I was awake for a 40 hour stretch on Friday and still went out partying!!


But the one that worried me was the third, rather competitive response:

c) Hmmm. My personal ‘best’ was about 66 hours. I wonder if I could top that.


I then found myself actually thinking about testing how long I can do without sleep. Just out of curiosity.

Don’t think I should let my brain out without supervision anymore.



“I need my sleep. I do. I need 8 hours a day… and about 10 at night.”

Bill Hicks

oddegg: (Default)
I think my Psychic Manifestation of Slash™ has slightly backfired on me.

Sure, the guy in Starbucks this morning did look a little like Don, but I might have been watching too many re-runs of Scrubs at the moment because he looked more like the bastard son of Don and JD.
Except slightly chubby and Glaswegian.

I still found him hot though. My mind is a very confused place at the moment.

Maybe I could pair him up with the bleach-blond Freddie-Prinze-Jr-but-gay a-like I saw on the Subway.
(Make that gay-er, because the guy may be tapping Buffy but he kinda looks like a friend of Judy. Especially in Scooby-Doo)


I have just bought the first series of Supernatural on DVD and now have Sam and Dean sitting in the slash corner of my mind, touching each other and laughing evilly. Why do I do this to myself?
oddegg: (beak face)
So, I was looking through LJ communities for Supernatural or Jensen/Jared RPS (padackles) fandoms, 'cos that's one of my new obsessions (slash - it's an illness, please help me...) and then I was watching the second series of 'Bones' and I was thinking 'I wouldn't mind reading some Booth/Brennan fics, stave off all the boylove', and I tried searching for Bones?

Came up with god knows how many pro-anorexia sites.

I mean, I can see the attraction in a slim woman - I count Charlotte Gainsbourg and Alyson Hannigan as two of my 'would definitely do them if I were gay' girls - but this?

I do NOT understand why some people need to make themselves look like something out of an Auscwitz documentary to feel attractive, or in control, or loved.

I just dont. The human mind is a very strange thing.
oddegg: (beak face)
I love this place but it weird’s me out sometimes.

Last month, just after commenting on the slashability of the Petrelli brothers from Heroes, I saw two guys on the tube that looked quite like them. Not dead on but enough that because they were sitting next to each other you noticed it.

Today on my way to work on the tube, right after posting the Ryan/Connor fic last night, I saw their doppelgangers!
And yes, these guys were again sat right next to each other and a pre-disposition of the sub-conscious towards the archetype could mean even a slight resemblance would do, but really, this time the likeness was uncanny.
The Connor wasn’t quite as accurate – short hair and face a bit thinner, but the Ryan? My hand to god – Exact. Double.
Mouth, eyes, hair, jaw – everything the same. I think I freaked the guy out staring. The only reason I decided it wasn’t actually Mark Wakeling was because as far as I know he’s not got body-modification ear plugs in both ears.

Well, I have thought long and hard about these two occurrences and have decided there is only one rational explanation.

I am developing the psychic power to manifest my slash characters physically.

And I’m getting more accurate at it.

The next logical step hit me at once. I must now spend all my time chanting ‘Don and Charlie, Don and Charlie’ until those two turn up, whereupon I will lock them somewhere secure for closer study.

Because, of course, I could only ever use my new superhuman talent for good. ::smirk::

- and don’t worry, I’ll take pictures for you guys : ) 
oddegg: (Default)
Just watched the Family Guy episode where Chris gets pulled into an A-Ha video at the grocery store and its inspired me to re-listen to their music.

Ah, Morten Harket. I fancied you the first moment I saw the 'Take On Me' video.

...and I've just realised I was only 7 and that that's fairly disturbing.


oddegg: (Default)

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