A way of saying what you mean...

[oddegg]

The mask's slipped;
    slid down and
                            wont fit anymore.

The foundations shake.

Let the cat
                   out of the bag
and
                   into the box, but

          things are decaying.

The poison seeps through and
kills you,
                      Pet.

Till all you're left with
                                     is
                                        bones
and moth-eaten fur that's
never going
                   to keep nobody warm.

Comments

[fredbassett]

Bloody hell, hon. Powerful stuff.

Welcome back! Is everything OK?

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

Hi! And thanks - I've been doing the poetry thing recently (about the only writing I have been doing!) and just thought I'd put a bit up.

Things are... kinda ok now. You know that 'Good News:Bad News' game they used to play on 'Sorry I Haven't a Clue'? - well, its been a bit like that.
Good News: that person you thought had found out about your LJ doesn't know about it, that was just you being psycho and paranoid.
Bad News: you were probably acting all psycho and paranoid because of the 'underlying depressive disorder'.

But I think my little crisis point was actually a good thing because I'm now slowly (very slowly) sorting myself out and, though up and down, am feeling a bit better.
Thanks for thinking of me luv.

[fredbassett]

Underlyig depressive disorder? Sounds like me! *huggles ma tablets* But at least I'm now getting more than 2 hours sleep a night. For me, the build up had been so long and so slow that I really had no idea. I now swear by low dosage Trimipramine. Sleep is a wonderful thing.

God knows what I'd do if anyone I know found my LJ.

But the poetry thing is most impressive.

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

Tablets are good. The doc gave me some that worked for the sleeping and that did help (sleep deprivation having got to the 'seeing twinkly lights' stage) - though it kinda threw into relief the fact that I was still feeling shit! Just need to sort that now ;)
This has been building for me for a little while as well, although since its been out in the open a lot of people have been telling me they've been worried about me for a while. I was a bit 'thanks guys! Ya couldn't have said something?' but knowing what a stubborn bitch I am, I don't think I'd have listened before. So, I may have hit bottom, but hopefully thats just given me leverage to kick back up to the surface.

[fredbassett]

I agree about the sleep thing. It had been building in me for years and years, but when it hit two hours per night, max, it was a bit of a pointer that something was wrong. That, and the total inability to stop crying a lot of the time. I'm only on a 20mg dosage of the stuff when 150 - 300 mg is quite common, but hell, I'm sleeping, so GO ME!!

You're never alone with a problem on LJ, that's for sure.

[telperion-15.livejournal.com]

Oh hon, I hope everything's alright.

As Fred says, powerful stuff.

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

Things are getting better. And reading over the poem again (I wrote it a couple of weeks ago) I realise its a bit bleaker than I meant. Certainly bleaker than I'm feeling now!
Thanks though :)

[telperion-15.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear it, my dear. But you know we're always around if you need us!

[byrons-brain.livejournal.com]

::tackle hugs::

::huggles more::

I hope you're OK hun...

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

Hugs are good. I like hugs.
*huggles you back*

Yeah, I'm not at 100% ok yet, but I'm starting to be able to see it off in the distance! Now I just need to start writing porn again and I know I'm on my way to a full recovery...

[byrons-brain.livejournal.com]

::makes you milk and cookies::

::huggles more::

[leda_speaks.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's amazing. Scary, but amazing. :hugs you:

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

Scary's my middle name (Amazing's just a nickname...)
:)
Thanks for the hugs; I'm really not too bad now but, well *points to poem* I was kinda down recently. But hugs are good. Its all good at bottom, that just slips your mind sometimes.

[leda_speaks.livejournal.com]

Glad to hear you're feeling better!

[crackedbuthappy.livejournal.com]

That really hit me hard. I was reading it like this :S I hope everything is okay on your end.

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

*meep* Sorry for the wibble face sweetie! Things have been a bit 'bleah' recently but I am doing ok - I am at least starting to laugh at how crazy I've been acting.
I mean, I started tearing up the other weekend because a junk-shop had sold a hat I'd seen that morning. And I didn't even particulary like it! I just wanted a badge that was on it! (Hat-cryage *facepalm* My heads gone nuts)