Like STUFF? Want STUFF?

Then look no further! It's Pay It Forward 2011!!!!!
(already seen elsewhere posted by more talented people than myself)

What is Pay It Forward? Basically, it's me saying that the first 5 people to comment will get sent something handmade by me during 2011.

This could possibly be something fannish, possibly something arty. Almost certainly something crafty and highly likely to be something a bit weird.

The original idea with the meme was that if you claimed you 'paid it forward' by offering the same but I can't be arsed insisting on that so feel to grab the goodies gratis! :D

(My craft talents are reasonable if probably not professional standard, btw)
I've been catching up with my upcoming-movie trailers over at topless robot and films that I am now INSANELY excited now include:
  • Tron: The Legacy. No, of course it's not going to be as good as the original. Yes, I'm still going to watch it.
  • Green Lantern. Ryan Rynolds looks like he so much fun filming this. I just hope we have as much fun watching it.
  • Cowboys & Aliens - Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford! As cowboys!! Fighting aliens!!! Based on a comic book!!!! Counting down the weeks, people. Fuck, counting down the days.
Speaking of Harrison Ford, topless robot also has a link to him on the Conan show. Mr topless robot seems to think Harrison is drunk but I personally think this is a terrible malignment of the man.

He's obviously not drunk! Silly topless robot man!

He's stoned - that's quite a different kettle of hot-rocked fish.

(And if you get that reference to hot-rocks then I name you 'stoner' and tell you to stop bogarting, man)

(Also - never seen Conan before but jeebus god, is it just me or is that man is a dick?)

* * *

This weeks Fan Fiction Friday on TR is particularly wtf?-ish. Pokemon rape fic.

Yes, you read that correctly. It is at times like these - reading reviews of stories about pre-pubescent boys getting raped by stone, snake-bodied Pokemon - that I wish I had known about the slight reference to the Pokemon fandom that my lj name apparently contains. (Pokemon gets brought up when I google myself, anyway) (Yes, I google myself. Don't judge me)

It's not as bad as the Draco skull-fucking one though, and not NEARLY as disturbing as the 'Sherlock Holmes is constipated - let us write about this and about Watson giving him enemas for over 13,000 words!' fic.

You can't read that last one anymore, the author took it down. Thank your gods for this, people. The internet is better for it.
oddegg: (Black Books - bitches dance)
( Sep. 11th, 2010 10:59 pm)
...would an American teenager use the phrase 'brick it'? As in 'was very afraid to the point of shitting yourself'?

I dunno, it seems like a very British turn of phrase to me.

(this, for anyone interested, is related to the fact that I'm trying to finish off a sequel to one of my Glee fics. Also relevant to this is the fact that my Firefox tabs at the moment are full of information about anal beads, vibrators, lube and gay sex positions.) (That's the only reason those one's are open, I swear...)

* * *

Also, note to the (presumed) students downstairs:

Either choose some songs that are more compatible with my taste or learn some fucking chords!

Because having to listen to you mangle your way through the music, while you're singing death metal!?! - ...yeah. 'Torture' is too mild a word, dudes.

Tra la la!
I'm feeling very happy today. A very pleasant reminder that I can.

Gorgeous weather? Check.
Cheesy balls and cream soda to consume? Check.
Reformatted-and-so-now-working portable hard-drive with about 3 solid years worth of music to listen to on it? Check and double check.
Art shows and comic book storyboarding workshops to go to tomorrow? Yay! Check!

Also check - I bought a book of gay porn short stories today that was only £2.99! All about tattoos... :) well, helloooo solid gold kink of mine! 
And maybe reading porn writen by actual gay guys will give me some pointers on how to improve my own, not that impressive porn writing.

I meant to write this evening, I really did but my brain is just twirling round and around with its fingers in its ears going 'La la la! No work today, the sun is shining, la la la!' - useless, workshy bastard that it is. (and yes, I do realise that thinking of my own brain as a separate entity to myself is a bit strange. Especially as I'm picturing it wearing a pink, sparkly 'Princess' t-shirt at the moment)

And so, in honour of timewasters everywhere, a meme! Ganked from trollprincess, who I believe originally ganked it from apetslife. 

Ahhh-ha-ha!
Don't give them ideas!! (I'm not a man hater, I just find the species amusing...)

I'm DYING!!

***

It's snowing! Yay!! 
Oh...
It's stopped.

No snow day for me. *sulks*

***

And finally...

...it would be funny if it wasn't true. 
 
oddegg: (primeval - anomaly radio)
( Jan. 16th, 2008 02:36 pm)

Thoughts I am thinking:

  • I'm seeing [profile] spn_j2_bigbang pimped everywhere and I am getting more and more tempted to sign up. I have a  couple of J2 ideas and the glimmering and a half of some SPN ones, all of them AU.
  • regarding the above, I'm thinking I'm mad. (Your WIP list is now about 10ft long woman! Impulse control would be a pretty feckin GOOD IDEA right about now, hum?!)
  • I need to buy a router for the WIFI thingy.
  • TORCHWOOD!!!! WOOO!!!
  • random porny musing - actor who plays Oliver Leek in S2 Primeval was in Greenwing - Mac from Greenwing, mmmm - Torchwood should do something involving a hospital, then Mac can cameo and shag Captain Jack and/or Ianto!! But not Owen because his frog mouth freaks me out.
  • 1) I want to see Oliver Leek porn 2) My brain! it's broken... *is sad*

I am late with my fic. *sigh* I think I’m going to have to stop saying I’ll be posting stuff and just let it be a pleasant surprise when I actually manage get the frickin’ things finished.

But I am going to have something done by Monday, damn it! At least one more Primeval chapter once I’ve wrestled the characters into submission, hopefully with some smut this time – the sod’s are making eyes at each other but are being coy about getting nekkid.

I’m also going to get my cw_rps/bible character crack!fic finished, because I have a squee-tastic icon from felisblanco and mr_felisblanco that should really have something blasphemous to attach to for its first outing.

Mmmmm, sacrilicious

 

**

Just finished Warren Ellis’ graphic novel The Fall (still working on Crooked Little Vein – great so far!) and there’s a scene where a pathologist is eating his lunch over the body of the day. A piece of tomato falls out and into the Y section. He fishes it out and, despite the detective’s threat to shoot him –

He eats it.

 

Laughed so hard I nearly peed.

 

I think I might have a sick sense of humour.

 

**

I have to start actually bookmarking interesting posts when I see them rather than thinking ‘oo, that’s interesting. I will keep that somewhere safe’ and then instead of doing that RIGHT THERE AND THEN I do the internet equivalent of wandering off and finding yourself standing in front of a cupboard having completely forgotten what it was you were looking for and having to retrace your steps except that you forget where it was you were coming from and then you find yourself in front of a different cupboard having completely forgotten…

*deep breath* 

So now I’m looking randomly through my f-list for a post about Jared Padalecki and a race of giants. Mind like a steel sieve I tell you.

 

oddegg: (Default)
( Nov. 30th, 2007 09:01 pm)



I wanted to try this voice posting thing out, but couldn't think of anything to say so I just sang something random.

Has anyone else tried them yet? Is the strange way it cuts out any pauses normal? Is the way it cuts you off after about a minute normal?
I don't think I like it.
oddegg: (beak face)
( Nov. 24th, 2007 03:14 pm)
Randomness from a night out.

1) If you have bluetooth, even though it may seem very funny at the time you should not make yourself come up on others phones as either 'Suck Me Beautiful' or 'Call Me Its Huge'. We will just mock you.

2) Yes, the bar may have a horror theme, but playing chain-saw sound effects in the toilets is still a bad idea. Especially when your patrons may have been discussing classic slasher movies earlier.

3) "It's not a good start to the week when the first thing you see on Monday morning is pigeons eating the vomit outside TGI Fridays"

4) Chasing 4 beers with your sleeping pill in defiance of the packet warning works like a charm and knocks you out, but the next day in the supermarket it does leave you staring into space, twisting the trolley handle and making 'brrmm-brrmm' noises to yourself, so perhaps this is an experiment not to repeat that often. 

I put my user-name in google just now (because I’m very sad ok? Also bored – see below) and it turns out that back in June one of my music.blog posts was quoted in a Guardian article!!!

 

I can now die happy – hemp-chewing, sandal-wearing Grauniad reader that I am.

 

Also, someone called bethannsen has every one of my RyCon fics bookmarked at del.icio.us. Which is both rather surprising and immensely flattering. *waves at you*

 

“This is your LJ captain speaking. I see from my googling that we’ve picked up a hitchhiker. Hello, whoever you are! I just wanted to say that you are extremely welcome! I did sod all to get where I am today and I became a slasher-fic writer in order to encourage degenerate freeloaders like myself. I have sent out a search party and when they find you they will feed you tea and cookies! If you’re very lucky I’ll give you an rps fic filled with poetry first.”

 

Or just plagiarise obscure bits from Hitchhikers’ Guide at you. One or the other.

 

Oh, and whoever you are, I’ve nicked a load of your rec’s m’kay? *g*

Just been musing on life, the universe and everything - 
or rather, my life, my job and the fact I'm so freaking bored at the moment I'm contemplating killing myself just for something to do.

The last time I was this bored in a job thoughts about burning the shop I worked in down so I wouldnt have to go in the next day started popping into my head. 
I quit the day I found myself looking at the gap underneath the fire-door and thinking "I could pour petrol under there from outside, stuff newspaper through and set fire to it. Then I could sleep in tomorrow"
If I could have guaranteed one particular arsehole of a colleague got trapped inside I might just have done it.

You know its time to leave when felony arson & murder starts looking like the sensible option. 

**

I was set on the path of thinking about boring jobs from reading [personal profile] notthequiettype's J2 AU/Clerks story 'The Incredible True Story of Two Clerks In Love'. So bloody funny - really, do read it (don't be drinking while you do though - you get that nose-snort thing otherwise. Not pretty)

And I suppose that's one good thing about this job - quiet office and desk with back to the wall + no checking of internet usage means I can read porn when I have nothing else to do...
 
oddegg: (Default)
( Oct. 24th, 2007 08:19 pm)
I think my Psychic Manifestation of Slash™ has slightly backfired on me.

Sure, the guy in Starbucks this morning did look a little like Don, but I might have been watching too many re-runs of Scrubs at the moment because he looked more like the bastard son of Don and JD.
Except slightly chubby and Glaswegian.

I still found him hot though. My mind is a very confused place at the moment.

Maybe I could pair him up with the bleach-blond Freddie-Prinze-Jr-but-gay a-like I saw on the Subway.
(Make that gay-er, because the guy may be tapping Buffy but he kinda looks like a friend of Judy. Especially in Scooby-Doo)

***

I have just bought the first series of Supernatural on DVD and now have Sam and Dean sitting in the slash corner of my mind, touching each other and laughing evilly. Why do I do this to myself?
Well, I’ve just seen tonight’s Ch5 repeat episodes of NCIS and CIS (and I’ve got behind with my viewing, so sue me) and Christ, if these people don’t want us to porn their programmes why do they write them like that?
And we wont even speak of the Sony advert and the little multi-coloured plot-bunny look-a-like’s they’ve introduced…
Just seen my folks onto their flight. They’ve been up for a couple of days, hence seasiding on Thursday and slight incommunicado-ness (hence also the interesting experience of explaining to my father, on a crowded bus, the subtleties that are involved in an arrest for ‘cottaging’. Really, don’t ask.)

Anyway, yesterday I was checking out a book on linguistics I’d bought and it mentioned an Aboriginal language that had only three verbs. Half to myself I said out loud
“Verbs. They’re ‘doing' words, aren’t they?”

My mother’s look of incredulous horror that I’d even needed to ask really had to be seen to be believed.

Hey! I can use the damn things, I just can’t tell you what they’re called.

Though this may explain why I didn’t get that ‘A’ for English. May also have had something to do with hating most of the set texts and not reading them properly.

Mill On The Floss – George Elliot ::retch::

You couldn’t pay me to re-read that one.
In fact, I don’t think holding a gun to my head could persuade me to crack the cover.
In fact, even if Don, Ryan and Captain Jack oiled up and offered to perform lap-dances for my own personal delectation it wouldn’t…

Actually – no, that would persuade me. I think that could convince me to do a lot of things, up to and including assassinating the pope, burning down London, massacring the entire population of Luxembourg (and hey, who would miss ‘em?) and even *shudder* re-reading Mill On The Floss.

But it would be a close call with the book.
I love this place but it weird’s me out sometimes.

Last month, just after commenting on the slashability of the Petrelli brothers from Heroes, I saw two guys on the tube that looked quite like them. Not dead on but enough that because they were sitting next to each other you noticed it.

Today on my way to work on the tube, right after posting the Ryan/Connor fic last night, I saw their doppelgangers!
And yes, these guys were again sat right next to each other and a pre-disposition of the sub-conscious towards the archetype could mean even a slight resemblance would do, but really, this time the likeness was uncanny.
The Connor wasn’t quite as accurate – short hair and face a bit thinner, but the Ryan? My hand to god – Exact. Double.
Mouth, eyes, hair, jaw – everything the same. I think I freaked the guy out staring. The only reason I decided it wasn’t actually Mark Wakeling was because as far as I know he’s not got body-modification ear plugs in both ears.

Well, I have thought long and hard about these two occurrences and have decided there is only one rational explanation.

I am developing the psychic power to manifest my slash characters physically.

And I’m getting more accurate at it.

The next logical step hit me at once. I must now spend all my time chanting ‘Don and Charlie, Don and Charlie’ until those two turn up, whereupon I will lock them somewhere secure for closer study.

Because, of course, I could only ever use my new superhuman talent for good. ::smirk::

- and don’t worry, I’ll take pictures for you guys : ) 
oddegg: (Default)
( Oct. 9th, 2007 12:33 pm)
The guy at Boots just now had the nicest hands I’ve ever seen on a guy. Smooth, pale, long fingers and lovely nails. Why do straight guys never take care of their nails? Always those short, dumpy, cut down to the quick jobs instead. ::sigh::

**

I will definitely be posting more fics over the next few weeks as I’ve just signed up for 5 prompts over at [community profile] rounds_of_kink. 2 for Num3rs and 3 for Harry Potter.
There are another 6 that I very well may pick as well, but I’m gonna wait and see how I do with the others. Don’t want to – you know, overstretch myself or anything!

**

I’m trying to avoid the wiles of a particularly freakish plot bunny at the moment. One that makes me ashamed of my brain and is, in any case, so obscure that it will only make sense to about 6 people in the world. I don’t wanna write this! It’s not a productive way to use my time! 

And why does my mind come up with this crap? I don’t object to the constant porn!plots and slash!musings running through my head (‘cos those are fun) but this is worse than my Numb3rs!Colby/Family Guy!Quagmire idea.

::shakes head at own brain in bemused disgust::

I may have to engineer a plot bunny strain of Mixamytosis. 
Just watched the Family Guy episode where Chris gets pulled into an A-Ha video at the grocery store and its inspired me to re-listen to their music.

Ah, Morten Harket. I fancied you the first moment I saw the 'Take On Me' video.

...and I've just realised I was only 7 and that that's fairly disturbing.
I think it should be legal to kill bagpipers.
Especially bagpipers who busk.
Particularly those who busk the same 3 tunes, very badly, ad infinitum.
But above all bagpipers who busk less than 500 yards from your office. All afternoon. All afternoon when you're trying to collate together and format a 300+ page document from about 8 separate other documents and the end result is full of graphs and tables and references and footnotes which you have to check whilst listening to that wailing screech outside that even playing full volume Atari Teenage Riot on your ipod wont drown out.

I can see it now. "Well officer, he started in on his 5th consequtive rendition of 'Speed Bonny Boat' and I just snapped"
No jury in the world would convinct me. And it would be a mercy killing really. For everyone involved.

***

I'm sorry if anyone here plays the bagpipes, btw.
Not sorry if you're offended, just sorry you play the bagpipes.
There's a guy I see in town on my way to and from work who's got this whole, gothic David Carradine, laconic wild-west look going on. Frock coat, black preacher hat, waistcoat, bolo-tie - the whole nine yards. I swear I saw him with a watch-chain once.

He always looks like he's just stepped out of an episode of Deadwood, and the woman I see him with occasionally is the epitome of sexy fetish chic; all corseted waist-cinchers and rubber skirts.

I found out that he works in the Pringle jumper store. (and if you can't place the name here's a good example http://www.kitmeout.com/fashion/pringle_sweater.jpg)

I just love the juxtaposition.

***

Curveball is now up on eppescest and Numb3rs Don't Lie and, in relation to that last and the pimping of 'rounds of kink' LJ I'd just like to say to silentflux -

My god woman/man/other (delete as applicable), do you realise what you're doing to me!?!

That I read the Round Three prompt list and I now have seventeen different plot bunnies gnawing at my ankles?! One of which has in itself five different permutations?

I'm going to go mad.
oddegg: (Default)
( Sep. 27th, 2007 10:26 pm)
Well here we are - tested, tested - and we're two litre bottles of san miguel and a couple of hours of escapist tv to the wind and, is it just me?
or are the Petrelli brothers from Heroes just aching to be slashed?

That kiss when Peter's in his coma.

I don't think its just me.
.

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