The oddegg spn_bigbang maths lesson

[oddegg]

(N / 20,000 x 100) x GE - AOS = COS

Where:
N equals number of words written so far - expressed as a percentage (so 638 words out of 20,000 = 3.19%)
Times by general enthusiasm for writing anything (GE)
Minus all the other shit I've got going on (AOS)
Equals chance of success at finishing my draft in time for the May 1 deadline (COS).

In my case COS turns out to equal roughly the same chance that Elvis will be cloned and mate with Amy Winehouse, and that their toweringly coiffured, alcoholic, pill addicted spawn will be age accelerated in order to be old enough to sing at Jensen and Jared's Big Gay Wedding (officiated by the Pope himself) in 2010.

Alternatively summed up as SCIH or snowballs chance in hell.

I am, however, strangely at peace with this. It'll get finished some time and I've decided to adopt the Zen buddhist approach of not letting things bother me.
The Zen buddhist branch that deals with porn writing, obviously.

Comments

[fredbassett]

It's a satisfyingly awful phrase, isn't it? *grins*

My other favourite, which is nowhere near as descriptive, but I still like it, is to describe something as a bag of wank I get really disgusted looks when I use that one at work. Maybe I ought to introduce them to moose wang ..........

[oddegg.livejournal.com]

There was a phrase that I read on a blog that warrenellis.com linked to that I've been unable to get out of my head since:
I made you in my basement out of rhinoceros cunts. Yet, you are curiously dry

I can't imagine I will EVER get to use that one in conversation! (and I want to, damnit! I want to!)

[fredbassett]

Oh god, and now I want to use it too!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure I'll ever be free of the desire again. *worships lovely shiny phrase*